Well today at 5 past midnight is moving day... YES moving day wooooo hoooooo we got our house, a lovely 2 bedroom house with gargen and shed in kimbolton, its loverly well will be when its all decorated thanks to phil hehehe, x so im writing today to fill you in as not sure if will be able to get on the internet for a while.
things going well thank goodness at last so for now as i am soo tired im signing out wont be for long just for now, i will diary my time then write it all in when we are back and running with internet.. so for now love you all
Love u maddison forever and ever and always, to infinty and beyond xxx love u mummy and daddy xxxxx
Tuesday, 26 October 2010
Sunday, 10 October 2010
Emotional x
Today i feel emotional havent felt like this in a while, i am trying hard to keep it locked away inside but it is fighting its way through slowly, dont now why today i feel like this but all i now is that i just do.
missing maddison very much today, been thinking about her loads everything just seems to remind me of her, not that i dont think bout her everyday but just today seems alot more, i was looking at the kids earlier and just imagined her in a baby seat in the back but its not there it will never be there, its so sad.
just wish i could go back to the day i had her and have one last cuddle and one last kiss, miss her alot, but i now she is ok with my 2 nans and my cousins andf phils sister , they are looking after her i just now it,
but hay im not going to let myself be dragged down by this, i just felt i needed to write today x
mummy loves you baby girl xx forever and ever to infinty and beyond xx
missing maddison very much today, been thinking about her loads everything just seems to remind me of her, not that i dont think bout her everyday but just today seems alot more, i was looking at the kids earlier and just imagined her in a baby seat in the back but its not there it will never be there, its so sad.
just wish i could go back to the day i had her and have one last cuddle and one last kiss, miss her alot, but i now she is ok with my 2 nans and my cousins andf phils sister , they are looking after her i just now it,
but hay im not going to let myself be dragged down by this, i just felt i needed to write today x
mummy loves you baby girl xx forever and ever to infinty and beyond xx
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
feeling angry.... x
feeling angry tonight, feeling frustrated seen to many babies and pregnant ladys to last me a life time thank you very much, hate the fucking hospital but hay as phil just loves it there have to go every now and again lol.
so 9 months and 1 week since we lost maddison and about 8 months and 3 weeks of ttc and still a big fat no.... doing my sweed in to be honest but hay just tonight its got to me like this .... just thought id rant on here and hopefully the annoying feeling will go as i got it out ...
pfffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu breath.......10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 exhale x kool im done heheh x
love u baby girl forever xx
oh yeh just to add today i lost 5.5lb last week at slimmers world wooop woop me heheheh xsee if we can do it this week heheh x
peace out love to all x
so 9 months and 1 week since we lost maddison and about 8 months and 3 weeks of ttc and still a big fat no.... doing my sweed in to be honest but hay just tonight its got to me like this .... just thought id rant on here and hopefully the annoying feeling will go as i got it out ...
pfffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu breath.......10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 exhale x kool im done heheh x
love u baby girl forever xx
oh yeh just to add today i lost 5.5lb last week at slimmers world wooop woop me heheheh xsee if we can do it this week heheh x
peace out love to all x
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me and phil x
will love you foreva x
