A LITTLE BIT OF GOOD XXXXXXXX

its the 8th of september o my god how fast has this year gone, even tho at times it has felt like it has gone on forever and ever and ever.
so much has happened this year this will defently be a year once it has finished this year will be forgotten... it will be locked in a box and locked and burnt, 2010 was supposed to be our year but has turned into the year where i nearly lost everything including myself, this begining of the year i lost my beautful baby girl, i have lost 2 houses, nearly lost the man of my dreams on more than one occation and nearly very nearly lost myself.

this year has been bad very bad, only things can only get better right. well i hope so i truely do hope so.

i so want to write positive i want to write all the good things but i am finding it very hard to think of all the good that has come from this year, i have met many friends through this year dear friends who have helped me through the bad times,

i have found a new love for my best friend a love which i didnt thinki could love her anymore than i already did but have realised that i can and have, this friend this special friend who will be with me through the rest of my life has kept me goign she has been through everything with me everything, i love her to the moon and back and always always will.. love u kez x

i have found that the love i have for phil has been made stronger through all the bad times, there has been so much that could have easily of dragged us apart but 8 months 1 week and 3 days after loseing our first baby together we are still together and our relationship is starting to rebuild, we have had our very low times and have struggled through some days and weeks but we still have each other and can and will get stronger i will love him forever and we will when the time is right go on to have another beautiful baby together x we will always love maddison and there will always be a massive hole where she should be but!!! she will always be with us no matter where we are she will keep us strong and keep us together and will guide us to the right path x mummy and daddy love you forever and ever and always to infinty and beyond xx sleep tight baby girl xxx

My little man started his first day at big school on the 2nd of september and he is loving it, he looks so smart in his uniform it just doesnt look right bless him, he is makeing friends and finding it easier to leave us in the mornings, i do miss him terrible when he is not here wish i could have them all here with us full time, x i love you mummys beautiful boy you are growing so big and so fast love you forever and ever and always thissssssssssssssss muchh xxx hehehx

gracie also starts big school this week bet she is so looking forward to being a big girl, she is also growing so fast i look at her sometimes and think o my god you have changed so much since we first met, me and daddy where talking about you last night and we both said how much you remind us of your baby sister, i see her in you so much she would have been just like you i think but just obviously with more of me hehehe love you little princess xxxx

Chloe well what can i say about this one lol she is 8 going on 18 hehe a teenager already just without the double digits lol xshe has the attitude already and to be honest i absolutely adore it i love the attitude it is so what it should be i love that she is so independant. i look at her and hope that if we have a little girl thats exactly what i want our baby to be like she is awesome x love you chloe loe xxxxx

and well ryan and typical mummys boy lol he is a typical only boy child in a family of all woman he although changing and becoming alittle bit of daddy he is mental a typical skank lol does not care about anything, he is the messiest child of 3 that i now you now exactly where he has been hehehe love him to bits though loves you ryan xxxxx

theres my kids although they not all biologically mine they sure do feel like it when they are here just wish they could be here all the time do miss them like mad when they all are gone x

and then there will be baby 6 hopefully a mixture of us both me and phil and a little bit of each child chucked in there too but until the time is right we will jsut dream of our 6th child phils 5th my 3rd and our 6th until that day i am well happy with what ive got xxxx

so there is my blog for today a little bit of good in here <3 xx love you all x