well another night off the cold shoulder and thought of how long is this going to be like this for.....

just another day in the life of me great hay.. up and down up and down up and down i feel like im living with a yoyo, i cant say what i want to say and when i do its always wrong, i want to just beable to be honest tell him how i am feeling but nooooooo got to keep it all to myself and live the life that at the minute am hateing, the days that are good are fucking great and the days that are bad are fucking awful, i dont now how to think dont now what to think, dont now what too say so maybe i should just be fucking quiet and say absolutely fuck all.

i hate feeling un wanted i hate feeling worthless i hate thinking thats its all my fault if i do one thing wrong then thats it, im living on a ticking time bomb that already has gone off once but is a waiting game to when its going to go off again.

what do i do... ????

i dont now just want someone to give me the answers, i want him to give me the answers i want him to say this is the way its gonna be i want him to now it all but nope...

is he happy anymore because everytime we do this it makes me feel like he is geting further and further away from me o how 12 hours can change things back to the crappy way that it can be.. how long is this going to last i just want to go more than 2 days of happy us..

o and to top it off we got 2 months left in our house before we got to leave, so thats the 3rd house in 18months and we got 2 months to try and fiind somewhere to live..

like i said this is the life of me........ great aye