is there a certain way too feel ?

Is there a certain way to feel when something this awful happens, i heard a saying once:

A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is .

this is so so true on so many levels there are just no words that can exxpress this, since loseing maddison i have spoken to many different woman who also have lost a child, some even have lost more than one child, some have lost a child months after they were born, some the same as us and lost there baby before they were due..

these are all different feeling, no one feels the same as the next person, we are all different, how can you comfort someone when it comes to this. what do you say

my close friend lost her beautiful baby boy 3 weeks ago, me and gem have only known each other a short while but i feel have grown very close, when gem lost samuel i didnt know what to say, i myself went through this only 6 months ago but just didnt now what to say to comfort her without her thinking that i was being out of order, we speak and have done so since her loss but no one nows what too say to any of us, we dont now what we want people to say to us,

because like i said everyone is different, we all grieve different we all look at this different.

Me and my friend bridie who too lost her beautiful little girl erin, used to joke. on facebook as you all now has a private chat section, we used to say everyone keeps asking me how i am, bridie being the sarcastic funny loveing person she is used to joke i just wanna say "IM FUCKING SHIT THANKS" we got to the point where we would speak but not under any circumstance ask how each of us were, well we tried but it always used to get there, "HEHEHE LOOK AT US" we used to say "WE HAVENT ASKED HOW WE ARE" :-) BUT!!! if people didnt ask how would we feel, i would have felt why are you not asking me how i am, everyone has forgotten about her, but i didnt want people to ask me!!! strange hay its just awful you just dont now how to feel.

I would not wish this on my worst enemy and some people i can safely say that i hate them, but this is a numbing pain that no one should ever feel no one, this is just not how things should be.

Children are not supposed to die...Parents expect to see their children grow and mature. Ultimately, parents expect to die and leave their children behind...This is the natural course of life events, the life cycle continuing as it should. The loss of a child is the loss of innocence, the death of the most vulnerable and dependent. The death of a child signifies the loss of the future, of hopes and dreams, of new strength, and of perfection. - Arnold and Gemma 1994, iv, 9, 39