need to write..

i wonder if another pregnancy will ever happen?

i wonder if things will be ok?

i wonder if we will be happy like we should be ?

i wonder if i will ever hold another baby which is mine again?

wonder,wonder,wonder this is my life now this and hopeing i hope things will be normal again and hope hope hope....

i dont understand why this has happened to me, i really really dont, i dont think i will beable to ever come to terms with what has happened and i dont think i ever fully will.

i will always have this massive hole that no matter how many babies i may have in the future will never be healed from the loss of my first born daughter, i longed for her and would have done anything for her, if i could have given my life for her to survive i would have done, just as i would for any of my children..

i miss u x